February 19, 2008
My Life IS SOOOO Hard… Sniff.
Posted by meggypoo under Assholes & Vexation, Babble, Bitch & Moan...Woe is me, Bodily Functions, Dating, Family, Friends, House and Home, I'm a dork, Just for fun, Life, Men, Pets, Random Stuff, WTF, Who's that Jackass in the mirror...oh
Actually, I’m not really all that aggravated. I had a pretty good day. BUT, I thought about one thing that was bugging me, which led to another thought of dissatisfaction. So instead of letting this crap rattle around in my head all night, I’ll spew forth the objects of my discontent for my huge following to read. Here’s my bitch list (yes yes, I know, my life really isn’t that hard… shut up):
- I’m sick of winter. Not like “oh, this winter thing is so played out” sick. I HATE IT. I’ve been obsessing about all this work that I want to do in my yard. I’ve picked out a bunch of perennials that I want to buy. I want to fill the bird feeders. I want to actually complain about being hot instead of bitching about the constant state of my butt being cold (among many other body parts).
- I want a hot tub (yes I just stomped my foot and stuck out my bottom lip as I typed that). My close friend has a hot tub. And now that I think of it, another friend is also a proud owner of a spa. It’s not fair! And I even created the lamest “blog” ever created in the entire lame blog world just to BEG people to give me money to buy a hot tub. It is not the king of dip shit blogs… It is a GOD! Except that no one… and I mean NO ONE… ever visits it. And I mean EVER. Anyway, yeah, I want a hot tub.
- People in movie theaters are stupid.
- I don’t have a huge following.
- I don’t want to hurt feelings or burn bridges, but I STILL don’t want to date. And I’m going out on a “non-date” Thursday night. Uggg.
- The giraffe at the zoo today flatly refused to wrench it’s neck over the enclosure to lick my outstretched hand. Bitch.
- I didn’t get into the Moab 1/2 marathon. I’ve participated in that race twice! You’d think that “veterans” should get first dibs. I think that “lottery” races are a bunch of bullshit.
- I don’t look like Giselle Bundchen.
- My dog is gone
- My toad died this weekend
… Oh wait… - I have to clean the sick tank that the dead toad was floating in.
- I had a really good “last meal” last night, and because of my stupid workout routine thing, I couldn’t even eat the leftovers. Now my so-called “friend” is devouring all MY delicious leftovers.
- As I was checking out the weird skin tag on my inner thigh this evening (and contemplated just cutting if off, but stopped myself when I remembered how it bled like a mo’fo’ the last time I tried something cute like that), I hit my shin on my razor ass sharp corner on my nightstand. Which leads me to…
- I want dressers from IKEA. But I’m too damn cheap to spend $300 bucks to buy the set that I want.
- I’ve been peeing tons lately. We’re supposed to drink all this damn water to ensure good health, but at what cost? It seems I must threaten the safety of my clitoris in exchange for proper hydration.
- There is drama in my softball circle. People… IT’S FUCKING SOFTBALL! It’s not like we’re fighting to save the rain forest. For the love of all that is holy!
- I’m now involved in a small claims case. Just the thought of NOT winning pisses me off. OK, I guess it’s a little early for anger now. I should probably watch a lot of Judge Judy just in case.
- Despite my many attempts, I’m still the Transitioner.
- I have to pee again.
I know, boo f’ing hoo. I must admit, I feel much better.
