It’s really not even debatable, and I don’t say it to make you jealous. Sure, your mom is probably pretty good and all, but my mom is better. In fact, she’s the best.
Yeah, I’m pretty OK when it comes to mommy-hood, but I can’t even hold a candle to her. The only bad thing about this is that for years, maybe until I hit college, I thought that ALL moms (and parents) were like her. Patient, unconditionally loving, generous, smart, gracious, empathetic, ethical, moral, and in general the best thing since sliced bread. I now know this isn’t always, or even often, the case. It still makes me sad for all the kids out there whose moms evidently missed the “How to be an awesome mom” seminar.
But I feel so incredibly blessed to have been raised by a woman that possesses so many wonderful qualities.
Although I’m not what I would call attached at the umbilical cord (I can go a few days… even a week without talking to her, or even make a decision without consulting her. I’m a big girl now!), I still depend on her because in so many ways. She still takes care of me and I still need her.
I may not say it enough, but I love you Mom. And I can say it with all honesty and pride when I say that you really are the best mom. Happy Mother’s Day.
This has gone around before, but it still makes me laugh. Here is a Q & A with some elementary aged kids about their moms:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger
parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in
the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use
string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?
1. We’re related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your Mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty
bossy.
3 They say she used to be nice.
What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk
on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to
chores?
Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.
Who’s the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goof
ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the
bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What’s the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power ’cause
that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.
Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don’t do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of
plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid
of that.
2. I’d make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who
did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back.
