To All Of You W.O.W. Fans

World of Warcraft… need I say more? This is dedicated to all of you (including some of my socially motarded friends) W.O.W. lovers.

‘Warcraft’ Sequel Lets Gamers Play A Character Playing ‘Warcraft’

 

Family Fun Times

Riddle me this: What is it about family reunions and holidays? I end up feeling like even more of a loser and failure than I normal do, which is pretty freaking sweet!

Remember last years reunion in Disneyland? Yeah, well, just like last year, there were some good times. And some not so good times. Yes, I crashed and f’ed up my arm (I did end up going to the InstaCare and was put on antibiotics). But we did a lot of fun things such as swimming, eating crap that can only make my ass expand, playing games, feeding horses, catching snakes, etc.

The kids had a wonderful time playing with their cousins, and it really was nice to see everyone. But now that I’m divorced, these family gatherings are the ultimate reminders that I’m the only one who couldn’t hack it. I feel like my nose is constantly being shoved in my shit (aka… my life) and my existence is my punishment. OK OK, that was pretty dramatic and not exactly how I feel, but you get my drift.

I should probably NOT watch my siblings with their respective mates. It doesn’t make me jealous per say, but it does remind me of what I had and lost. Sniff.

But I’m home, alive, mostly safe and sound.

 

Kids Are Worth Their Weight In Rice

Before you call D.C.F.S. (Department of Child and Family Services), let me preface this by saying that I love my kids.

But school is out, and they are around me… all of the time. And beginning tomorrow, I get the joy (pfttt) of spending the next 4 days with them at a family reunion. OH YEAH!

I’m pretty sure I’d be a little more excited if I 1) wasn’t totally sleep deprived, 2) didn’t still have 4 bags to pack, 3) it were Sunday, and 4) I was a crack addict.

All this being said, this morning my adorable, sweet, and only slightly evil 8 year old brought me breakfast in bed. How freaking cute is that!?!

Yeah, it was frozen waffles that happened to have more syrup than actual waffle, but the gesture was so awesome that I ate them with a smile.

Next time I’m washing underwear with skid marks or scrubbing urine from the base of the toilet (is it really that hard to freaking hit the water!), I’m going to remember this morning.

 

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

The past few years my love life has been disappointing to say the least.

I have felt like something was missing. That something was the love of a good man. But the “good man” proved to be a very elusive specimen. Who knew that I was just looking for the right thing in all the wrong places.

On that note, let me be the first to introduce you all to George! Our meeting would have never been possible had it not been for my amazing friend Carlie, who blessed me with this birthday gift! Thank you my dear

He is everything I could have hoped for and more (or I suppose I should say and less… the instructions clearly state: “WARNING: This is not THAT type of inflatable and therefore coitus is not recommended”. Yeah, so what! What he is “missing” in some areas he makes up by being a wonderful companion). He is only about 3 feet tall, but I am not one to judge someone just because they don’t fit the unrealistic standards of what society says is attractive. Like having real hair, or a pulse.

Here are just a few photos of George and I living it up. Not only is he a tender (often to a fault) lover, he is also a wonderful cook, has great stamina while working out, is great with the dog AND the kids, and gives great foot rubs in the tub :). Jealous girls? Get your own damn husband! The very best part is that my kids started calling him “Dad” the very first day without ANY prompting at all. Shit sugar, we’re a family!

Great things can come in small packages (NOT always the case)

Who knew something so plastic could be so romantic?!

George has some serious skills in the kitchen

A true sweetheart!

 

It Gives Me A Special Feeling

This one thing seems to sum up my week pretty well:

Today I sat on the steps of my porch, just to catch my breath for a minute. My dog, Gator, came up to give me a big wet kiss. It was at that moment when I realized that he must have recently eaten shit. I’m not sure if it was his own or not, but it seemed like the perfect ending the past 5 days.

 

Mother’s Day Realization

This Mother’s Day, as my kids gave me the cute cards they created, it hit me. It’s me who should be thanking them.

Things I’ve learned from my kids:

• Acceptance: They accept everyone just as they are. My oldest doesn’t care that his best friend comes from a poor family. He doesn’t mind that one of his friends in school is black. They don’t notice if someone is wearing jeans from Wal-mart or a designer brand. They don’t care if someone talks a little funny, or acts a little weird. They see the qualities in people that really matter.
• Trust: Maybe it’s the lack of life experience, but it’s a quality I love in them. They trust people even when given a reason not to. Even when I let them down they don’t become jaded or bitter… they move past it and believe in me again.
• Forgiveness: They are true masters in forgiving and forgetting. They may fight and argue, but they don’t hold grudges. One steals a toy, the other throws a punch. But 5 minutes later, they are laughing and playing together.
• Love: Being a mom has taught me more about love than any other relationship I’ve been in. From the moment they took their first breaths, the unconditional love that I have feel for them has been indescribable. There is nothing that they could do that would ever change that. They have taught me to love unconditionally and fiercely.
• Patience: Sitting in isolation in a hospital room for 5 days would be enough to drive anyone crazy. But the way that Emma took it all in stride was truly amazing. She didn’t EVER complain when they poked her numerous times a day to draw blood. She didn’t cry because the nurses kept coming in at night to take vital signs. She hasn’t whined about having to sit still for hours while she receives her i.v. antibiotics at home.
• Attitude: They have the most positive attitudes of anyone I’ve known. They can take a seemingly crappy situation and see the good and potential fun in it.
• Fun: My kids can have enjoy themselves anywhere! Even when I’m feeling tired or grumpy, they have a way of making even the most mundane tasks like making lunch fun. They say the cutest things that can’t help but make me smile.
• Relationships: They have a pure appreciation for the people in their lives. They don’t see people as disposable commodities.
• Honesty: Sometimes embarrassingly so, my kids are honest to the core. They have not learned to warp the truth to meet sugar coat things or manipulate. If they are hurt, you know about it. If they are happy, you feel that as well.
• Empathy: When they hear a story about a child dying, they cry for them. At my grandmothers funeral, they softly touched her face and whispered their goodbyes in her ear. And then went over to my sad mother and gave her a hug and told her it would be OK. When they see me upset or grumpy, they are quick to throw their arms around my neck and tell me that they love me.
• Romance: Being a single mom, and back in the dating shark infested waters pool, they have indirectly helped me to make some of the best choices in possible mates. On my own I may have settled for someone that probably was not right for me. But being a mom and wanting the best for my children has forced me to “weed” out undesirable men (maybe not as soon as I should have, but it’s the result that counts, right?) that I may have otherwise settled for. They have helped me to realize not only what I want and need for myself, but also for them.
• Selflessness: I believe that it is human nature to (at times) be selfish. It’s not always a bad thing. But being a mom has taught me how to put my own desires aside to accomplish a bigger (and more important) goal.
• Joy: I remember thinking about what my life as a wife and a mother would look like. In some ways it is very much that way. But many things didn’t turn out as I expected. The years since my children were born have brought many “trials”. But I can say that each and every one of them has taught me something about myself. Most poignantly, about joy. This may be the biggest lesson I’ve learned from my little ankle bitters: Even though it may look different than the picture painted in my head, I am blessed. I feel joy from the simple things in my life. A kind of joy that no car, home, hot tub or job can provide.

By no means do I claim to have perfect children. Sometimes they throw fits. Sometimes they cry. Sometimes they get on my last nerve and test my patience. Sometimes I think about selling them to the gypsies.

But I can with certainty say that I’m better because of them. They unknowingly help me strive daily to be a better mom, woman, lover, friend, ex-wife, daughter, and person. They keep me grounded and enable me to see the big picture. Their existence brings me a clarity and gives my life purpose beyond just living day to day.

I feel blessed to be their mother. I am in awe of their goodness. I pray that I can be the mother that they deserve and hope that in spite of my downfalls, they will become the amazing people they have the potential to be.

This post is dedicated to my children — who have taught me more in 8 years than I could have learned in a lifetime without them:

 

One In A Hundred

Time and time again, I have cursed the world of online dating. I won’t go into the gory details of why, suffice it to say that for the most part, I don’t think it works. I’m going to throw out a statistic that has NO support or science behind it whatsoever: You have about a 1% chance of finding love online. OUCH!

Since my divorce almost 2 years ago, I’ve joined a number of sites on and off, which have pretty much yielded the same results: Nothing good.

While I think that meeting people in the “real” world dramatically increases your chances of finding a match that will ’stick’, sometimes all it takes is that 1%. I’m hoping that this one actually happens to be that one in a hundred.

 

I Went, I Saw, I Got Really Sunburnt

St. George… a place for me that represents relaxation, getting away from reponsibilities, and wonderful weather.

It’s a place that I’ve taken countless family vacations, and a location with only good memories.

My retreat to the sunkissed town was exactly what I needed, although I left feeling more bitch-slapped by the sun rather than kissed.

For me there is nothing better than having a destination where there are no “have too’s” or plans. We truly did “stuff” while really doing nothing.

Thanks to my oldest and dearest friend for making it everything I was hoping for. I’m feeling recharged and even a little energized.

 

Hell Yeah!

It’s been a stressful couple of weeks. But this weekend has some great relaxation potential.

And after yesterdays stupid ass snow storm (along with my day-to-day responsibilities), I couldn’t be happier to leave the land of the holy and head south to St. George. I’m going with a friend of mine, and we have some serious plans to do nothing. The idea is that we have NO plans, and just act in a “fly by the seat of our pants” way which is something that moms don’t often get to do.

I’m not one to rub good things in the faces of others, but…

That’s right bitches! While the rest of you, my dear friends, are freezing your asses off, I’m going to be soaking up the sweet rays in Zion. Woo hoo!

 

How To NOT Win A Girls Affection

After a few weeks of emailing back and forth, a man that contacted me through myspace asked me to text him (just because I’m so “funny” and “cute” and he wants to get to know me better).

Here is the text string from last night, spelling and all:

ME: “Hey, it’s Megan, your favorite new friend. I’m at a concert, but told you I’d text you, so, Hi :)”

HIM: “Who are you i dont kno a megan.”

ME: “WOW. Ok then.”

HIM: “where did u get my number.”

ME: “I got it when you emailed it to me and asked me to text you… Jackass.”

HIM: “Oh god i’m sorry i have been getting crazy text from 3 or 4 diff numbers. Please exuse me I may have not known ur name yet when i sent u that i am so sorry megan.”

ME: “Lol. I know how hard it is to keep us all straight.”

HIM: “Sorry megan i do kno its ********* (my myspace user name) u caught me offguard.”

ME: “Don’t worry about it.”

He professed his embarrassment and apologized some more.

Yes, in this online world of meeting people, it can get confusing. But, “Buddy”, you not even remembering my name after almost 2 weeks of emails is not the best way to convince me that you find me intriguing or fascinating.

I’m not impressed.