Kids Are Worth Their Weight In Rice

Before you call D.C.F.S. (Department of Child and Family Services), let me preface this by saying that I love my kids.

But school is out, and they are around me… all of the time. And beginning tomorrow, I get the joy (pfttt) of spending the next 4 days with them at a family reunion. OH YEAH!

I’m pretty sure I’d be a little more excited if I 1) wasn’t totally sleep deprived, 2) didn’t still have 4 bags to pack, 3) it were Sunday, and 4) I was a crack addict.

All this being said, this morning my adorable, sweet, and only slightly evil 8 year old brought me breakfast in bed. How freaking cute is that!?!

Yeah, it was frozen waffles that happened to have more syrup than actual waffle, but the gesture was so awesome that I ate them with a smile.

Next time I’m washing underwear with skid marks or scrubbing urine from the base of the toilet (is it really that hard to freaking hit the water!), I’m going to remember this morning.

 

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

The past few years my love life has been disappointing to say the least.

I have felt like something was missing. That something was the love of a good man. But the “good man” proved to be a very elusive specimen. Who knew that I was just looking for the right thing in all the wrong places.

On that note, let me be the first to introduce you all to George! Our meeting would have never been possible had it not been for my amazing friend Carlie, who blessed me with this birthday gift! Thank you my dear

He is everything I could have hoped for and more (or I suppose I should say and less… the instructions clearly state: “WARNING: This is not THAT type of inflatable and therefore coitus is not recommended”. Yeah, so what! What he is “missing” in some areas he makes up by being a wonderful companion). He is only about 3 feet tall, but I am not one to judge someone just because they don’t fit the unrealistic standards of what society says is attractive. Like having real hair, or a pulse.

Here are just a few photos of George and I living it up. Not only is he a tender (often to a fault) lover, he is also a wonderful cook, has great stamina while working out, is great with the dog AND the kids, and gives great foot rubs in the tub :). Jealous girls? Get your own damn husband! The very best part is that my kids started calling him “Dad” the very first day without ANY prompting at all. Shit sugar, we’re a family!

Great things can come in small packages (NOT always the case)

Who knew something so plastic could be so romantic?!

George has some serious skills in the kitchen

A true sweetheart!

 

Mother’s Day Realization

This Mother’s Day, as my kids gave me the cute cards they created, it hit me. It’s me who should be thanking them.

Things I’ve learned from my kids:

• Acceptance: They accept everyone just as they are. My oldest doesn’t care that his best friend comes from a poor family. He doesn’t mind that one of his friends in school is black. They don’t notice if someone is wearing jeans from Wal-mart or a designer brand. They don’t care if someone talks a little funny, or acts a little weird. They see the qualities in people that really matter.
• Trust: Maybe it’s the lack of life experience, but it’s a quality I love in them. They trust people even when given a reason not to. Even when I let them down they don’t become jaded or bitter… they move past it and believe in me again.
• Forgiveness: They are true masters in forgiving and forgetting. They may fight and argue, but they don’t hold grudges. One steals a toy, the other throws a punch. But 5 minutes later, they are laughing and playing together.
• Love: Being a mom has taught me more about love than any other relationship I’ve been in. From the moment they took their first breaths, the unconditional love that I have feel for them has been indescribable. There is nothing that they could do that would ever change that. They have taught me to love unconditionally and fiercely.
• Patience: Sitting in isolation in a hospital room for 5 days would be enough to drive anyone crazy. But the way that Emma took it all in stride was truly amazing. She didn’t EVER complain when they poked her numerous times a day to draw blood. She didn’t cry because the nurses kept coming in at night to take vital signs. She hasn’t whined about having to sit still for hours while she receives her i.v. antibiotics at home.
• Attitude: They have the most positive attitudes of anyone I’ve known. They can take a seemingly crappy situation and see the good and potential fun in it.
• Fun: My kids can have enjoy themselves anywhere! Even when I’m feeling tired or grumpy, they have a way of making even the most mundane tasks like making lunch fun. They say the cutest things that can’t help but make me smile.
• Relationships: They have a pure appreciation for the people in their lives. They don’t see people as disposable commodities.
• Honesty: Sometimes embarrassingly so, my kids are honest to the core. They have not learned to warp the truth to meet sugar coat things or manipulate. If they are hurt, you know about it. If they are happy, you feel that as well.
• Empathy: When they hear a story about a child dying, they cry for them. At my grandmothers funeral, they softly touched her face and whispered their goodbyes in her ear. And then went over to my sad mother and gave her a hug and told her it would be OK. When they see me upset or grumpy, they are quick to throw their arms around my neck and tell me that they love me.
• Romance: Being a single mom, and back in the dating shark infested waters pool, they have indirectly helped me to make some of the best choices in possible mates. On my own I may have settled for someone that probably was not right for me. But being a mom and wanting the best for my children has forced me to “weed” out undesirable men (maybe not as soon as I should have, but it’s the result that counts, right?) that I may have otherwise settled for. They have helped me to realize not only what I want and need for myself, but also for them.
• Selflessness: I believe that it is human nature to (at times) be selfish. It’s not always a bad thing. But being a mom has taught me how to put my own desires aside to accomplish a bigger (and more important) goal.
• Joy: I remember thinking about what my life as a wife and a mother would look like. In some ways it is very much that way. But many things didn’t turn out as I expected. The years since my children were born have brought many “trials”. But I can say that each and every one of them has taught me something about myself. Most poignantly, about joy. This may be the biggest lesson I’ve learned from my little ankle bitters: Even though it may look different than the picture painted in my head, I am blessed. I feel joy from the simple things in my life. A kind of joy that no car, home, hot tub or job can provide.

By no means do I claim to have perfect children. Sometimes they throw fits. Sometimes they cry. Sometimes they get on my last nerve and test my patience. Sometimes I think about selling them to the gypsies.

But I can with certainty say that I’m better because of them. They unknowingly help me strive daily to be a better mom, woman, lover, friend, ex-wife, daughter, and person. They keep me grounded and enable me to see the big picture. Their existence brings me a clarity and gives my life purpose beyond just living day to day.

I feel blessed to be their mother. I am in awe of their goodness. I pray that I can be the mother that they deserve and hope that in spite of my downfalls, they will become the amazing people they have the potential to be.

This post is dedicated to my children — who have taught me more in 8 years than I could have learned in a lifetime without them:

 

Home At Last!

Just a little update:

Emma was released from the Hospital Saturday night, which was a pleasant surprise after being told it might be Tuesday.

She was taken into surgery Friday night to open up the infected site, clean it out, place a drain, and then also place a PICC line (it’s an i.v. line that leads directly into her heart) that allows me to give her the i.v. antibiotics at home.

So every 8 hours, I play the role of nurse. The process pretty much requires that I put my entire life on hold, seeing as the ex refuses to step up and be a good dad participate in medicating her. The medicine runs for 2 hours, and takes about a total of 30 min. of prep. time and clean up.

I was pretty nervous about having this responsibility, but I’ve gotten the hang of it and it’s working out well.

For now, she’s home, and I am hoping/praying that we can fight this infection without having to make another voyage to the hospital.

On the upside, it looks like the rotten and poor excuse for a guest hospital bed DID get some use… thanks for coming by and helping us with the checking out Porty

 

M.R.S.A.? You Can B.I.T.E. Me!

The majority of my posts are written from the comfort of my bed. I am here to testify that writing from a box covered with a sheet and blanket hospital bed is just not the same.

A few posts ago I talked about my daughters surgery on April 21st. It had been a pretty uneventful recovery, although there was some swelling at the surgery site (the swelling that I was told was “normal” each time I called to ask about it). This past Tuesday she had a post-op checkup. The first thing the doctor said when he saw her incision was “this is really big. It shouldn’t be swollen like this.”

Which lead him into telling me the lab results that he has just gotten that morning. No cancer… GREAT NEWS! But when cultured, the lymph node had grown out an infection. A staph infection. A potentially life threatening staph infection called MRSA (Multi-drug Resistant Staphylococcus Aureus). A “I fucking kill people… babies, kids, adults” staph infection.

To read about my new nemesis, visit this link. My most favorite lines from these articles are like this one: MRSA infections are responsible for more deaths in the U.S. each year than AIDS. Or the one that states that of the 95,000 people hospitalized with MRSA, over 19,000 of them die. Wow… that gives me warm fuzzies all over my body.

Emma started a course of a powerful oral anti-biotic on Tuesday. By Wednesday the swelling continued to get worse, and by 7 p.m. we were at the hospital. It’s now Friday morning, and we still don’t know when we’re going to be able to go home.

Emma is on an i.v. anti-biotic called VANCOMYCIN. That in and of itself is fun, since she has a weird reaction to it called RED MAN SYNDROME… not dangerous, but agitating and sometimes painful :(.

But, for the first time since this shit storm started, when the doctors came in at the ass crack of dawn this morning, it looks like the infection might be getting better!! The lab results also show that the infection markers are coming down.

The past 4 days have pretty much sucked. I have gone through feeling like my daughter might die to wanting to die because of sleep deprivation. I’ve been in this hospital for 3 days, 2 nights, and I’m feeling a little cabin fever (she’s in isolation… she even has her own “Infectious Diseases” team. Woo Hoo!). But there is no way in hell that I’m leaving her.

At least she always wants me to sleep with her in her bed… it’s not great, but nothing in comparison to the chair/bed they have set up for parent sleeping. Torture doesn’t even begin to describe that contraption.

Besides wondering what is going to happen to my little girl, the hardest thing is not having ANY idea of when we’ll be able to go home. The doctors don’t even know. But this sign of improvement at least gives me some hope that sometime soon I’ll actually return home to the bed that I love.

So that’s been my fun filled week-soon-to-be-weekend. I can truly say that I feel lucky to live in a place that has great medical care and for health insurance!

Emma has truly been a trooper. Her spirits are high and she has charmed all of the staff with her cute personality.

Notice the crooked (but still very cute) smile. She has temporary (it better be!)
partial paralysis because the swelling is pressing on a nerve.

 

Slightly Random… Always Delightful

• The past few days have been beautiful! The weather has been fucking (that was dedicated to my previous post) glorious. Yesterday I worked out in the yard and then soaked in some rays while dozing a little and listening to my ipod. It goes without saying that I am now completely sunburned. Back to the point… I don’t normally watch the news, but I did catch the weather. Mother Nature is not only a whore but also a TEASE!
• I adopted a dog yesterday. He is proving to be a dream boat. And he doesn’t chase my cats! More to follow.
• Watched and am now boycotting America’s Next Top Model. How in the hell is a girl who is a size 8 a good candidate for the plus size model world? Holy fuckwad!
• Don’t you think it’s weird that most people who are for the death penalty are against abortion, and vice versa?
• I’m still always looking at the clock at 12:34, and any other **:34 as well. And it still creeps me out.
• Realization about the “dream boat” after sleeping in the same room with him. He snores. Hmmm.
• After reading a few comments on a certain nameless über douche’s myspace page, I had the sudden urge to vomit a little. The cheese that people voluntarily spew forth on their “friends” pages is enough to make me want to punch babies.

 

The “F” Word

I’m a big fan of the “F” word, although I use it much less than I’d like. If you’re confused about when the best time is to use this word is, take a look at this little tutorial:

 

I Feel Like a New Woman

Since moving in, I’ve had this crappy, old, warped, crud-like, wooden garage door.

Thanks to an OK tax refund, I finally have a new door. It’s white and clean and undamaged. As I pushed the button on the opener remote, I felt like a virgin, touched for the very first time.

 

A Pathetic Attempt

As I’ve stated in about 3089 previous posts, dating sucks.

Wanna know what blows even more? Being single.

More specifically, being a 32 (almost 33) year old divorcé (typing that word makes me want to vomit only slightly less than when I say it), single mom with NO prospects sucks. Although I guess when I’ve removed myself from the dating ’scene’, it’s to be expected.

As I lay here alone, aside from Peter and Phoebe (the beginnings of my soon to be cat lady collection), now is a good time to remember all of the GOOD things about being single.

In no specific order:

1. I can actually get some decent sleep at night. My ex used to snore so loudly that almost nightly I thought about killing him in his sleep. I’m not even kidding. I used to fantasize about smothering him with his pillow. Yes, it might be a little dramatic, but sleep deprivation at 2 a.m. does crazy things to a woman. Now I want to kill him all of the time
2. No more pubic and/or copious amounts of body hair in the shower.
3. I get Tuesday & Thursday evenings and every other weekend “off”.
4. I can eat cereal for dinner and don’t hear the bitching that went a little something like this, “If it’s not meat, it’s not dinner”.
5. I no longer have to scrub the remnants from his explosive ass off of the inside of the toilet bowl (too much information?).

Ah, fuck this list. Who am I kidding, being single sucks.

 

Bastard in the Bushes

 

Although it is a subject that my dear friend doesn’t appreciate, or is comfortable with, the fact that this issue haunted me in my dreams last night and is still on the forefront of my mind makes me feel the need to ‘purge’.

My 3 year old niece, who lives in Tucson, AZ, was bit on the hand by a rattlesnake yesterday.

She’s not doing as well as hoped, especially after receiving treatment so quickly. The swelling that started in her hand has traveled up her arm and into her shoulder. She’ll live. She’ll be OK. But whether there will be permanent damage, or to what extent, is still unknown.

And because I’m such a dork, and have always been fascinated by venomous and dangerous animals, I’ve done the research even before this event. And I know that this may not have a pretty outcome. I wish I hadn’t seen the pictures of rattlesnake bite victims.

What bothers me the most is that there is a little girl who is suffering (thank God for morphine). And I am completely helpless to offer anything but phone support to my most beloved sister.

Stupid Arizona. Stupid snake.