Mother’s Day Realization

This Mother’s Day, as my kids gave me the cute cards they created, it hit me. It’s me who should be thanking them.

Things I’ve learned from my kids:

• Acceptance: They accept everyone just as they are. My oldest doesn’t care that his best friend comes from a poor family. He doesn’t mind that one of his friends in school is black. They don’t notice if someone is wearing jeans from Wal-mart or a designer brand. They don’t care if someone talks a little funny, or acts a little weird. They see the qualities in people that really matter.
• Trust: Maybe it’s the lack of life experience, but it’s a quality I love in them. They trust people even when given a reason not to. Even when I let them down they don’t become jaded or bitter… they move past it and believe in me again.
• Forgiveness: They are true masters in forgiving and forgetting. They may fight and argue, but they don’t hold grudges. One steals a toy, the other throws a punch. But 5 minutes later, they are laughing and playing together.
• Love: Being a mom has taught me more about love than any other relationship I’ve been in. From the moment they took their first breaths, the unconditional love that I have feel for them has been indescribable. There is nothing that they could do that would ever change that. They have taught me to love unconditionally and fiercely.
• Patience: Sitting in isolation in a hospital room for 5 days would be enough to drive anyone crazy. But the way that Emma took it all in stride was truly amazing. She didn’t EVER complain when they poked her numerous times a day to draw blood. She didn’t cry because the nurses kept coming in at night to take vital signs. She hasn’t whined about having to sit still for hours while she receives her i.v. antibiotics at home.
• Attitude: They have the most positive attitudes of anyone I’ve known. They can take a seemingly crappy situation and see the good and potential fun in it.
• Fun: My kids can have enjoy themselves anywhere! Even when I’m feeling tired or grumpy, they have a way of making even the most mundane tasks like making lunch fun. They say the cutest things that can’t help but make me smile.
• Relationships: They have a pure appreciation for the people in their lives. They don’t see people as disposable commodities.
• Honesty: Sometimes embarrassingly so, my kids are honest to the core. They have not learned to warp the truth to meet sugar coat things or manipulate. If they are hurt, you know about it. If they are happy, you feel that as well.
• Empathy: When they hear a story about a child dying, they cry for them. At my grandmothers funeral, they softly touched her face and whispered their goodbyes in her ear. And then went over to my sad mother and gave her a hug and told her it would be OK. When they see me upset or grumpy, they are quick to throw their arms around my neck and tell me that they love me.
• Romance: Being a single mom, and back in the dating shark infested waters pool, they have indirectly helped me to make some of the best choices in possible mates. On my own I may have settled for someone that probably was not right for me. But being a mom and wanting the best for my children has forced me to “weed” out undesirable men (maybe not as soon as I should have, but it’s the result that counts, right?) that I may have otherwise settled for. They have helped me to realize not only what I want and need for myself, but also for them.
• Selflessness: I believe that it is human nature to (at times) be selfish. It’s not always a bad thing. But being a mom has taught me how to put my own desires aside to accomplish a bigger (and more important) goal.
• Joy: I remember thinking about what my life as a wife and a mother would look like. In some ways it is very much that way. But many things didn’t turn out as I expected. The years since my children were born have brought many “trials”. But I can say that each and every one of them has taught me something about myself. Most poignantly, about joy. This may be the biggest lesson I’ve learned from my little ankle bitters: Even though it may look different than the picture painted in my head, I am blessed. I feel joy from the simple things in my life. A kind of joy that no car, home, hot tub or job can provide.

By no means do I claim to have perfect children. Sometimes they throw fits. Sometimes they cry. Sometimes they get on my last nerve and test my patience. Sometimes I think about selling them to the gypsies.

But I can with certainty say that I’m better because of them. They unknowingly help me strive daily to be a better mom, woman, lover, friend, ex-wife, daughter, and person. They keep me grounded and enable me to see the big picture. Their existence brings me a clarity and gives my life purpose beyond just living day to day.

I feel blessed to be their mother. I am in awe of their goodness. I pray that I can be the mother that they deserve and hope that in spite of my downfalls, they will become the amazing people they have the potential to be.

This post is dedicated to my children — who have taught me more in 8 years than I could have learned in a lifetime without them:

 

There Has To Be A Better Way

Forget the iron maiden, the rack, or the thumbscrew.

The most torturous device ever created is the microfiche scanner at the library. I don’t think I’ll ever be the same.

 

Comings and Goings

Because I KNOW you’re so curious about what’s going on in my life:

• Back on the running/lifting routine. Which also includes many meals that I’m pretty sure have cardboard as the main ingredients. Oh, that’s called “whole grain”. Delicious.
• I got sunburned last Monday while working in the yard. It was nice enough that I wore a tank top. Saturday, we got 6 inches of snow. Insert most appropriate expletive.
• A welcomed return of my “who cares” attitude where men and relationships are concerned, or “love” in general. Ahhh… sweet relief.
• I’m desperately trying to get ready for the annual “Easter in St. George” trip. And not only do I still have to shop for and pack all the Easter bullshit stuff for my kids, my son’s birthday is on the 22nd. I haven’t gotten ANYTHING for him yet. UGGG! And I still have to pack for myself AND my 3 kids. AND there is a Eater parade/program thing at my son’s school, which is fine, except that I’m short on time (which begs the question…What in the hell am I doing writing this post?). And all I really want to do is take a nap.
• The seller of one of my listings is an alcoholic. So when agents call to schedule a showing, I can’t cuz he’s drunk at home and the house stinks. SHIT!
• Despite about one week of serious sleep deprivation (last night was one of the worst), I’m feeling pretty good. A little feisty maybe, but good.
• My niece (the one bitten by the rattlesnake) is doing well and at home. They expect a full recovery
• I’ve been “tested” a couple of times, and done myself proud.

So wish me well with the preparations for and the actual journey. I hope I survive.

 

Who Asked You?!

I’m slightly annoyed.

I love being “lectured” about how I’m not doing it right, or my way is incorrect.

Sure, it may be true. Yes, I have a lot to learn. But hearing some smug dip-shit tell me that the way I’m doing my job is lame when all he has is himself makes me want to puke on my… wait… HIS shoes. OK, so I’m big loser! You make more money that me. Congrats.You’re #1!  Here’s my less worthy cell phone to call someone who doesn’t want to punch you in the face.

When you have a home and are a single parent to 3 young children (or a parent at all), we’ll see how you do it, douche bag.

I say these things in the name of Mona Lisa. Amen.

 

A Delicate Thing

Work-wise, things have been looking up for me lately. I’ve been busy. Like insanely busy. There have been days that I have put in a full 16 hours.

But I haven’t quite figured out how to balance everything on my over-filled plate.

Family, work, friends, home, self. It all feels so delicate. As if I must sacrifice one (or two) of these things to maintain the others. That I’m barely keeping everything in my life from going up in a ball of unpleasant flames (as opposed to the pleasant ones).

Maybe it takes time. Practice. Experience. I’m hoping that as more demands are placed on me, I’ll better be able to balance them all in a way that satisfies everyone/everything, including myself.

If you’ve got it figured out, please let me in on your secret.

 

That’s Right Kids… I’m a REAL-A-TOR

FYI, it’s pronounced “real-tor”. But the often added “a” is always good for a laugh. And I’m not laughing because I think that you’re funny when you say it like that. I laugh because I’m mocking you for being so stupid. But don’t worry, I’ll just mock you in silence and then to my Realtor friends once you’re gone

When I decided to become a Real Estate Agent over a year ago, I went into it with pretty realistic expectations. I wasn’t one of those people who thought “I’ll get my license and then make TONS of money. Woo Hoo!” That is NOT how it works, and my 5 years of previous mortgage experience as well as being close friends with an agent helped me walk into it the profession with open eyes.

Many in the real estate business describe it as being feast or famine. Tru dat! And it’s been more of the later in the current market.

The month I got my license I closed 3 deals (OK, on one of them I was the seller and the buyer agent, but money wise that deal alone is like 2 deals). It was amazing! I will admit, I got a little cocky. But the next 10 months has been more than enough to humble me. I’ve only closed one deal since my first month’s “feast”.

At times I thought about getting another job in addition. Living off of savings and not knowing when (or if) your next paycheck is coming is a little scary. Instead of becoming part of the 80% of new agents in Utah that give up and don’t renew their licenses, I decided to hold out and really try to make some Realtor magic happen. Because I really like what I do, and I’m really quite good at it.

Much to my delight, things have started to pick up. I have two listings (or will actually GET them listed within the next month), and am working with a buyer who I am confident will actually CHOOSE one of the 21 homes that we’ve looked at.

Being an agent is a lot of work. It requires MUCH more time and energy than I imagined. And yes, sometimes the money is great. But let me assure you, we (or at least the majority of agents) work our butts off for it.

To answer your question… I would be happy to be your agent (if you live in Utah). And if you pronounce “REALTOR” correctly, I might even cut you a deal