The Gift That Keeps On Giving

The past few years my love life has been disappointing to say the least.

I have felt like something was missing. That something was the love of a good man. But the “good man” proved to be a very elusive specimen. Who knew that I was just looking for the right thing in all the wrong places.

On that note, let me be the first to introduce you all to George! Our meeting would have never been possible had it not been for my amazing friend Carlie, who blessed me with this birthday gift! Thank you my dear

He is everything I could have hoped for and more (or I suppose I should say and less… the instructions clearly state: “WARNING: This is not THAT type of inflatable and therefore coitus is not recommended”. Yeah, so what! What he is “missing” in some areas he makes up by being a wonderful companion). He is only about 3 feet tall, but I am not one to judge someone just because they don’t fit the unrealistic standards of what society says is attractive. Like having real hair, or a pulse.

Here are just a few photos of George and I living it up. Not only is he a tender (often to a fault) lover, he is also a wonderful cook, has great stamina while working out, is great with the dog AND the kids, and gives great foot rubs in the tub :). Jealous girls? Get your own damn husband! The very best part is that my kids started calling him “Dad” the very first day without ANY prompting at all. Shit sugar, we’re a family!

Great things can come in small packages (NOT always the case)

Who knew something so plastic could be so romantic?!

George has some serious skills in the kitchen

A true sweetheart!

 

Comings and Goings

Because I KNOW you’re so curious about what’s going on in my life:

• Back on the running/lifting routine. Which also includes many meals that I’m pretty sure have cardboard as the main ingredients. Oh, that’s called “whole grain”. Delicious.
• I got sunburned last Monday while working in the yard. It was nice enough that I wore a tank top. Saturday, we got 6 inches of snow. Insert most appropriate expletive.
• A welcomed return of my “who cares” attitude where men and relationships are concerned, or “love” in general. Ahhh… sweet relief.
• I’m desperately trying to get ready for the annual “Easter in St. George” trip. And not only do I still have to shop for and pack all the Easter bullshit stuff for my kids, my son’s birthday is on the 22nd. I haven’t gotten ANYTHING for him yet. UGGG! And I still have to pack for myself AND my 3 kids. AND there is a Eater parade/program thing at my son’s school, which is fine, except that I’m short on time (which begs the question…What in the hell am I doing writing this post?). And all I really want to do is take a nap.
• The seller of one of my listings is an alcoholic. So when agents call to schedule a showing, I can’t cuz he’s drunk at home and the house stinks. SHIT!
• Despite about one week of serious sleep deprivation (last night was one of the worst), I’m feeling pretty good. A little feisty maybe, but good.
• My niece (the one bitten by the rattlesnake) is doing well and at home. They expect a full recovery
• I’ve been “tested” a couple of times, and done myself proud.

So wish me well with the preparations for and the actual journey. I hope I survive.