June 18, 2008
World of Warcraft… need I say more? This is dedicated to all of you (including some of my socially motarded friends) W.O.W. lovers.
‘Warcraft’ Sequel Lets Gamers Play A Character Playing ‘Warcraft’
June 8, 2008
The past few years my love life has been disappointing to say the least.
I have felt like something was missing. That something was the love of a good man. But the “good man” proved to be a very elusive specimen. Who knew that I was just looking for the right thing in all the wrong places.
On that note, let me be the first to introduce you all to George! Our meeting would have never been possible had it not been for my amazing friend Carlie, who blessed me with this birthday gift! Thank you my dear 
He is everything I could have hoped for and more (or I suppose I should say and less… the instructions clearly state: “WARNING: This is not THAT type of inflatable and therefore coitus is not recommended”. Yeah, so what! What he is “missing” in some areas he makes up by being a wonderful companion). He is only about 3 feet tall, but I am not one to judge someone just because they don’t fit the unrealistic standards of what society says is attractive. Like having real hair, or a pulse.
Here are just a few photos of George and I living it up. Not only is he a tender (often to a fault) lover, he is also a wonderful cook, has great stamina while working out, is great with the dog AND the kids, and gives great foot rubs in the tub :). Jealous girls? Get your own damn husband! The very best part is that my kids started calling him “Dad” the very first day without ANY prompting at all. Shit sugar, we’re a family!
Great things can come in small packages (NOT always the case)
Who knew something so plastic could be so romantic?!
George has some serious skills in the kitchen
A true sweetheart!
May 8, 2008
Time and time again, I have cursed the world of online dating. I won’t go into the gory details of why, suffice it to say that for the most part, I don’t think it works. I’m going to throw out a statistic that has NO support or science behind it whatsoever: You have about a 1% chance of finding love online. OUCH!
Since my divorce almost 2 years ago, I’ve joined a number of sites on and off, which have pretty much yielded the same results: Nothing good.
While I think that meeting people in the “real” world dramatically increases your chances of finding a match that will ’stick’, sometimes all it takes is that 1%. I’m hoping that this one actually happens to be that one in a hundred.
April 28, 2008
St. George… a place for me that represents relaxation, getting away from reponsibilities, and wonderful weather.
It’s a place that I’ve taken countless family vacations, and a location with only good memories.
My retreat to the sunkissed town was exactly what I needed, although I left feeling more bitch-slapped by the sun rather than kissed.
For me there is nothing better than having a destination where there are no “have too’s” or plans. We truly did “stuff” while really doing nothing.
Thanks to my oldest and dearest friend for making it everything I was hoping for. I’m feeling recharged and even a little energized.
April 25, 2008
It’s been a stressful couple of weeks. But this weekend has some great relaxation potential.
And after yesterdays stupid ass snow storm (along with my day-to-day responsibilities), I couldn’t be happier to leave the land of the holy and head south to St. George. I’m going with a friend of mine, and we have some serious plans to do nothing. The idea is that we have NO plans, and just act in a “fly by the seat of our pants” way which is something that moms don’t often get to do.
I’m not one to rub good things in the faces of others, but…
That’s right bitches! While the rest of you, my dear friends, are freezing your asses off, I’m going to be soaking up the sweet rays in Zion. Woo hoo!
April 11, 2008
Since moving in, I’ve had this crappy, old, warped, crud-like, wooden garage door.
Thanks to an OK tax refund, I finally have a new door. It’s white and clean and undamaged. As I pushed the button on the opener remote, I felt like a virgin, touched for the very first time.
April 7, 2008
I can’t claim to be an expert in the area of DATING, but I’ve been around (no, not in that way… bastards) enough to be in a position to bring you a few words of advice on the subject.
So men, next time you are interested in a girl and have a date with said female, here are a few guidelines on what to do, and what NOT to do.
DO: Open the door for your date. Yes yes, it might seem old-fashioned, even medieval, but I assure you, even the most open minded and laid back girls notice and appreciate the gesture.
DON’T: When a woman shows you her injury, no matter how little, smacking her on the bruise and calling her a “pussy” is NOT in good form.
DO: If you ask her out, DO plan on paying for the first date. Some might argue that in the getting-to-know-you stage, it’s OK to ask her to pay her half. That’s a negative kids. If you’re the asker, be the payer as well.
DON’T: After a meal, don’t look around and then suddenly remember that you left your wallet in your car. Lame. Dumb. And antics of a 18 year old frat boy. Even then it wasn’t cool.
DO: We’re all adults here, so I’m not going to pretend that kissing on a first date doesn’t happen (kissing WHERE is a whole other subject). If the chemistry between you two is flying out of your eyes and genitals, and your date seems receptive to a kiss, go for it. But be respectful. You buying her dinner does not, unfortunately, give you free access to her vagina.
DON’T: In an attempt to be cute or charming, DO NOT pinch or slap your date’s ass. Unless of course her name is “Candy” and she watches NASCAR and grew up in Arkansas.
DO: Go into a date with an open mind and few expectations. I’m not saying that you lower your standards, I’m just saying that it’s a good idea to give a girl a chance before you make any rash decisions.
DON’T: Under NO circumstances should you ever tell a girl that she should stop dating other people and that you think you two will someday be married BEFORE the first date. Or even on it. Or even right after it. I don’t care what the Angel Moroni told you… shut your mouth!
DO: Treat your date with respect.
DON’T: No matter how hot your date is, or how horny you are, OR how much you can just see it in her eyes that she wants you to… NEVER EVER EVER masterbate in front of your date. Or on the date at all. Hey, what you do once you are IN a relationship is all well and good, but whacking it while your date cowers on the couch is not only bad form, it’s practically abuse. This practice is not OK… ever.
DO: Feel free to talk about your hopes and dreams. It’s OK to mention an ex in passing, but keep the conversation casual and leave the intensity out of it.
DON’T: This next “don’t” is not only in the beginning stages of dating, but includes ANY type of relationship: Under no circumstances do you talk about how you might not be ready to date (because you might still be in love with your ex wife) directly after sex. Enough said.
DO: Be relaxed on a date. It’s OK to kick back and just enjoy the moment. Be attentive, but have fun!
DON’T: It’s probably not a good idea to take 3-6 shots of whisky BEFORE your date begins. And it’s definitely not a good idea to, while drunk, take your date to a movie, grope her boobs, be rude to the concession stand people, and then pass out and hit your date in the head with your own bulbous noggin.
I hope that this has been helpful to those of you men out there than need a little help in the fun filled world of dating. Remember kids: Smile, don’t get shit facd, and keep it in your pants until it’s beckoned.
March 27, 2008
There is a first time for everything. A first for me… involved in my first ever small claims case.
I’ll skip the oh so exciting details, suffice it to say that I was wronged, and decided to take legal action.
After I filed my claim in small claims court, the VP of the company who I am suing contacted me a few times in an attempt to “settle”. WHAT he offered was absolutely ridiculous. Frankly, it was insulting. After a conversation with him a few weeks ago, and after I declined his lame-ass offer, I told him I’d see him in court, which was scheduled for this coming Wednesday.
Today I got a call from the VP’s assistant. They are giving me everything I asked for in my complaint, including my court costs. I guess even they didn’t buy their “we did nothing wrong” excuse.
What do I have to say about this? WOO HOO!
I feel vindicated! Justice truly prevailed.
