Mother Nature – Bitch

If Utah’s weather could be diagnosed in psychological terms, it would be classified as SCHIZOPHRENIC.

For example:

* There is a Christmas Day video from when I was 6. There is no snow on the ground, and me and my siblings are all running around the yard in short sleeves.
* About 3 years ago in snowed in July. SNOWED! It was about 90 degrees the week before, and then we experienced highs of 50 for about one week.
* The day I was married, March 20th, it was 83 degrees. I actually got sunburned while we were having our pictures taken outside.

You get the point, being that in Utah, the weather is a crazy thing. You never know what will happen.

Last week the mid-winter “blah” lifted for a few days as the sun not only peeked through the clouds, but actually full-on shone. Snow started melting. I think I saw a 1/4 of my lawn. At one point I actually sat outside in a t-shirt and pajama bottoms without freezing my butt off. I think it might have even hit the high 40’s, if not 50.

It was heaven!

I started getting all excited about my spring and summer yard plans. I looked through a perennial catalog that I recently received, and picked out about $100 worth of plants that I want (and some wonder why I’m single).

I looked around at all of the little outdoor projects that winter will not allow.

If pure will and desire could melt snow, I think my grass would be growing by now.

But it is not so, and all good things must come to an end, or so it seems. Mother Nature, the whore that she is, decided that she should take a snow dump on poor and unsuspecting northern Utah. Son of a Bitch!

And this wasn’t just a little ‘flurry’. It was the worst storm of the year. Not just because of the snow, which was bad enough (I got about 8 inches), but there were wind gusts of up to 70 miles an hour. I know people who had to sleep at their places of employment. 2 school buses were stranded, children on-board. A couple of kids couldn’t leave their school and spent the night there. Some schools closed the day after the storm (including my son’s). It took some people 7 hours to get home when normally it takes 45 minutes. Read about it here.

The only conclusion that I can come to is that Mother Nature hates me, and that I should probably live in Arizona.

Explore posts in the same categories: Babble, Beotch & Moan...Woe is me, Driving, Family, House and Home, I'm a dork, Just for fun, Life, Random Stuff, Vexation, WTF