Bubble Wrap and a Helmet Please

I may not be the most graceful woman in the world, but I am not accident prone or terribly klutzy. After a few ‘incidents’ this past week (scroll down a few posts and you’ll see my Alpine Slide mishap), I think I need someone to wrap me in toilet paper and bubble wrap, and place a dip shit proof protective helmet upon my head. Any takers? Oh yes, and if you could type and text for me, brush my teeth, and occasionally wipe my ass (it’s only once a day!), that would be great.

Fresh off the presses… My Newly Fucked-Up Thumb! The result of a softball line drive gone wrong. Last night it was painful. But at 3 am, when I woke up and nearly ripped the damn digit off, I knew a morning visit to the InstaCare was in the cards for me. Official diagnosis: Severely jammed and a bone chip. Good times.

Because I’m a bloody cripple now, I couldn’t really get a picture that captures the lovely blue and blackness of it all, nor the swelling. I have a pretty high pain tolerance, and I’m here to tell you that… HOLY SHIT THIS HURTS! But luckily I have the gigantic thumb brace that lets everyone know I’m kind of an idiot and will hopefully keep anyone from bumping my offending thumb (I would hate to have to scream obscenities at a perfect stranger). It’s awesome!

One more thing… it took me 30 f’ing minutes to type this stupid post.

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5 Comments on “Bubble Wrap and a Helmet Please”

  1. Pants Says:

    You are my favorite cripple.

  2. Porty Says:

    You should embrace this (no pun intended). This brace is the ultimate dude magnet. I can see it now:

    Dude 1: What happened?

    meggypoo: broke my thumb playing softball.

    Dude 2: You play softball?!?!

    Dude 1: No way!

    meggypoo: Yep. I do. Caught a line drive with my bare hand.

    Dude 2: That’s hot!

    Dude 1: Totally.

    meggypoo: I play second base.

    Dude 1: (muted) I’d like to score your bases.

    Dudes laugh.

    meggypoo: I’m 3rd top hitting female in the league.

    Dude 1: Whooaaahhh.

    Dude 2: Nice!

    Dude 1 & 2: So…you wanna, like, party and stuff?

  3. meggypoo Says:

    Pants- And that’s why I love you 🙂

    Brady- Yeah, after reading this, I’m pretty sure I’m going to be single… forever.

  4. The Grunt Says:

    You better be careful or that insta care will get to know you on a first name basis.

    That looks like it hurts more than menstrual cramps.

  5. meggypoo Says:

    I’m pretty sure that the doctors at the insta care are slightly below par, and that’s why I’ve NEVER seen the same one twice. So no first name basis for me.

    And yes, it does hurt 🙂


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