The Olympics Hate Me

I’m exhausted.

Is it because I’ve had trouble sleeping due to all of the stresses of life? No.

Am I up late because I’m training a helper monkey? Negative.

Is it because I’ve been getting pounded so long and hard ALL NIGHT LONG that it keeps me up into the wee hours of the morn? Unfortunately, no.

It’s these damn Olympics! And despite what you might think, the Olympics act more like a sleeping aid than an aphrodisiac for single men in their 30’s.

The listed t.v. schedule tricks you by allowing you to think that the games will be over at 11 PM, but they never are. Two nights ago my poor body gave in sometime after midnight. I tried to stay awake, but I couldn’t. The viewing work I’d done that night was all for naught, and I didn’t even get to see the end of the the stupid men’s individual gymnastics competition. I don’t even know who came in second or third! I’m just grateful that swimming seems to come on earlier in the night.

By the grace of almighty Zeus, last night I was able to stay awake long enough to see what’s her name USA Nastia Somehingorother pink leotard girl and the other USA midget-ish red leotard girl (S. Johnson?) take first and second in the women’s individual round, which was AWESOME. But this morning, I am left puffy eyed and grumpy, and seriously sleep deprived.

This is not, of course, any fault of my own. How can I be expected to not watch when there is so much spandex, Phelps record breaking, and copious amounts of eye glitter by the Chinese!? Impossible I tell you! I am drawn to all the sweat, rhinestones, and drama. I have even gotten teary when I see athletes get choked up. Lame.

So I’ll continue to be the Olympics bitch, and you’ll have to forgive me if I’m a little grumpy today.

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3 Comments on “The Olympics Hate Me”

  1. The Grunt Says:

    Did you see that weight lifter accident from the Olympics? He was doing a snatch and grab of 328 and his right elbow did a Gumby on him–went totally the wrong way–and the weights came crashing down on him. The dude then started convulsing. It about made me throw up it was that awesome.

    I totally said “snatch”.

  2. Pants Says:

    Right there with you.

  3. meggypoo Says:

    Grunt-
    Damn it! NO, I missed it, but now I feel like I must watch even more. I can’t believe I missed something horrific like that. And yes, that’s disappointment you hear.

    Pants-
    Tomorrow night darling… tomorrow night.


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