Are you Effing Kidding Me?!?

You might remember earlier this spring my little heart was filleted and sauteed by a certain jackass we’ll refer to as D.B. In case you need a refresher, here’s is the first post as well as the link to the second post addressing my heartbreak at the hands of this winner. You’re welcome, I’m just a giver like that.

So let’s recap (cuz you know I LOVE a good recap!):

  • This man sought me out, wore me down (for months) to get me to go out with him, and then courted me with some serious intensity.
  • Told me that I was the best thing that had happened to him. Ever.
  • Said that he felt blessed to have found me
  • And spewed out a lot of other shit which had it been true may have been sweet. At this point it’s just evil and pathetic.
  • Ultimately, after saying some more cute bullshit, he up and disappeared, never to be heard from again. BUT WAIT…

Yes, I thought Captain Douche was out of my life for good. So you can imagine my jaw dropping shock that this dick would have the balls to EVER contact me again surprise when I receive the following emails (yep, that’s plural) through my myspace account this morning.

“Long time no chat, hoping you don’t hate my guts”

Followed with:

“New cell 360-****”

Hate your guts? HATE YOUR GUTS!!! And what does sending emails like that mean?!? No I’m sorry, just a casual “yo, what’s up. I’m a complete fuckwad, but I hope you still like me”. I’m seriously tempted to NOT protect the number and leave it out there, in hopes that one (or all) of you will call and harass, threaten, or in general just make life hell for him.

SO, what does it all mean?!

Luckily, because I may be a fool but I’m not stupid, AND there is this thing called myspace, I have an few ideas.

First of all, on his myspace account, his little quote is “Ya’ll are gonna keep fucking around with me, and turn me back into the old me”. ALSO, his mood is BETRAYED. Sniff. Meaning? That he just got screwed over by a girl. Karma, ain’t she a bitch! And he’s feeling a little down. A little depressed. In need of a confidence boost. That’s where I come in.

***SIDE NOTE: He stole my myspace headline. STOLE IT STRAIGHT UP! WTF.

Secondly, D.B., do you really think I am SOOOOO needy for affection that I’d revisit hell again just for a little of yours? You were an asshole to me in the worst possible way. A covert one. Do I hate your guts? No, I just wish you were dead.

So here’s where you all (yeah, all 3 of you) come in. How do I handle this? Do I completely ignore it? Do I write some big saga of a response? Do I write a very short but “clear” scathing email? Or do I just start crank calling him?

Explore posts in the same categories: Babble, General Stuff, Men, Vexation, WTF

8 Comments on “Are you Effing Kidding Me?!?”

  1. zeghsy Says:

    ignore. ignore. ignore. “fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, now you’re just an ass.” delete the emails. leave the number so you know NOT to answer it (i have one in my phone with ALL his numbers so i know not to answer any of them). OR you unprotect his number and let us (yes, all 3 of us) bomb him. i’ll get friends to help. it’ll be fun, we’ll have margaritas. 🙂

  2. beautyoftheyear Says:

    Just like he dropped you. Drop his ass. Let the dropping begin. BTW, men like this like attention. Any attention you give him, good or bad, will be an ego stroke. Leave him alone.

  3. That would be one I would kick to the curb. Your time is more valuable than that!

  4. Pants Says:

    What the fuck is wrong with men? SERIOUSLY!

    I’m with the others…ignore him. I had a similar situation with an ex, who also up and disappeared instead of letting me know we were breaking up. He phoned me in the middle of the night THREE times and then sent me emails that said shit like, “I know you’re probably missing me and by missing me I mean wishing I were dead.” Exactly.

  5. The Grunt Says:

    Clueless douches like this guy will thrive on any attention, even if you rip him a new one. If you need to say something for your own healing or amusement, do it. But just remember that it won’t get rid of him. Ignore him if you really want to punish him.

  6. Elle Says:

    So I’m curious…how did this turn out? I’m going to go back and read up on the douche bag…is that what DB stands for??? lol

    Also, ignoring him sucks and is no fun but I agree. Although it would be nice to have just sent a message back saying F off!

  7. meggypoo Says:

    D.B. (yes, Douche Bag) ended up calling me one afternoon. The conversation went something like this:

    Me: Hello?
    D.B.: Hi, it’s Douche Bag.
    Me: Oh… hi.
    D.B.: Hey… I just got home. Can I call you tonight?
    Me: Uhhh… I guess.
    D.B.: OK, I’ll give you a call tonight.
    Me: Bye. – Hang up

    So you called to tell me that you can’t talk but you’ll call me later?!? AND, he didn’t call! But did text (which I didn’t respond to) to tell me he fell asleep and would call me the next day (yesterday), which he didn’t. LOL. What a freaking tard. So if he does call or text, mums the word. Seriously though, he is KING of the Douche Bags.

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