The First Step

It’s been a rough road, but they say that knowing is half the battle.

For quite some time, there have been problems we’ve been dealing with, but didn’t really know WHAT exactly those problems entailed. Was it an intruder, an apparition, a case of amnesia, or a disease? And we had not one, but two! After many tears, wondering “why me”, much research and the involvement of the very best experts, I finally have the answers to some of the questions that have been plaguing me.

The first: Luminousoffusphobia – The fear and/or aversion to turning off lights in a room you are leaving. The weird thing about Luminousoffusphobia is that it doesn’t affect ones ability to turn lights ON all around the house. Pretty much every light in the whole damn house can be on, but they are rarely turned off, unless someone without the phobia is the one to do it. Now that I have a name to the face of this devastating disorder, as well as a better understanding, as a family we can now begin fighting the good fight.

The second: Toiletelimphobia – The fear of urinating in a way that causes the urine to actually make it IN to the toilet. Even more than Luminousoffusphobia, Toiletelimphobia has caused a significant amount of trauma in our household (to some more than others). This was a difficult disorder for me to fully understand and come to terms with, and I am still not there yet. It seems so simple, at least in my head, but after years of pee covered floors, it is obviously not. I was first introduced to this phobia when cleaning the downstairs bathroom, which is also named the boys bathroom. I’ve experienced in other bathrooms as well, but this seems to be where the fears culminate. I’ve tried to remain patient, but some days are better than others.

My hopes are that as a family, we can break the silence as well as the cycle. With our love, finger tip dexterity, as well as copious amounts of disinfecting wipes, we shall survive and thrive!

Explore posts in the same categories: Bodily Functions, Damn it, Family, Good Times

2 Comments on “The First Step”

  1. piper Says:

    Oh my hell! There IS a name for it!!! My mom says it’s because the boys hold their pee too long and it “bends” their wanker. Whatever. I hate it too! Good luck, maybe slip some prozac into everyone’s cereal.

  2. erica Says:

    The disease at my house that is threatening to send us all to the looney bin? Constanteasingitis. I. AM. GOING. NUTS. TODAY. Although after looking behind my toilet, I think we also suffer from Toiletelimphobia. Pretty disgusting! But enjoy your Thanksgiving sans kids! I believe that is called Justyouandhimeuphoria. ;o)

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