Archive for March 2011

Fun Times

March 16, 2011

Getting ready for an appointment with the gynecologist is like getting ready for a date. Shower, shave, make-up, hair, perfume, etc. This is no ordinary “date”.

Except he doesn’t buy you dinner, STILL gets into your pants, and you have to pay him for it.

It’s Gotta Go Wednesday

March 16, 2011

Sunglasses… they are something I literally do not want to ever live without. Not because I look sooooo cool in them (which undoubtedly I do), but because my eyes are rather sensitive to sunlight. “People with a lighter eye color (mine are blue) may experience more light sensitivity in environments such as bright sunlight, because darker-colored eyes contain more pigment to protect against harsh lighting” – Vance Thompson, MD. See!!! It’s totally scientific and crap!

I am rarely outside without my shades, and I always have a few pairs in my car to make sure I have them on hand while driving. So you see, I am a true fan, lover, and worshiper of sunglasses. But the name, “SUNglasses”, should be the clue that they are meant to wear in times of sunlight.

When I walk indoors, the sunglasses come off and go into the purse. When I see people walking around inside, wearing their stupid sunglasses, I have a strong desire to hit them in the back of their heads with enough force to knock their stupid glasses off of their stupid eyes. And celebrities… is there something that happens genetically when a person reaches a certain social popularity that makes light, even dim lighting like you’d find in a club or bar, painful? Maybe light is a celebrities kryptonite.

Or do they think that they are SO incredibly superior that the general population is not worthy of viewing their god-like peepers?

Unless you have diagnosed Photophobia, are blind, or are really high and trying to hide it from your parents, please, do us all a favor (and really, help yourself by not looking like such a dip SHTICK) and take ’em off. Sunglasses in doors… it’s gotta go.


March 15, 2011

Today I experienced what is my first of a few (and potentially many) injections of synthetic hyaluronic acid joint lubricant into my left knee. According to the nurse, this “lubricant” is made of “chicken hoods”, which I’m not sure about because I thought it was the rooster that had the hood. Kind of creepy. And AWESOME! I am not typically even the least bit squeamish when it comes to needles or medical procedures, but having a large (much larger than the needle for the cortisone shots) needle plunged into the teeny, tiny, easy to have an error in calculation space between my joints isn’t my idea of a good time. The stupid numbing shot hurt just as much as the injection, which leaves me wondering if it sort of defeats the purpose. Oh well.

Kids are sick again, and my throat was feeling left out and is joining the game. Well, it’s been all of a month, so it’s about time for another round of viruses to hit. Seriously, I’m going to start bathing everyone in rubbing alcohol and getting everyone in our family individual full body bubbles.

Speaking of being sick, I’m trying to get everyone ready to leave town in 2 days. Preparing for a “vacation” makes me miss being a kid. I used to pack my bag, and that was the beginning and end of my trip preparations. I never realized how much work my mom used to do to get everything ready. SO, the next few days I “get” to tackle all of the laundry, get 6 people packed (yes, I make Greg pack his own bag 🙂 ), ready the van, load all of our crap into the van, make sure we have enough movies and entertainment to shut the kids up for the 4 hour trek, and hold on to my sanity.

Last week was parent teacher conferences at school. I typically dedicate an entire post to the subject, but I think I can summarize it in a paragraph. OUR KIDS ARE AWESOME! Their grades were excellent, their citizenship reports were great, and their teachers all had wonderful things to say about them. I’m one proud mama!

I think it hit 55 degrees yesterday, which meant sitting outside in a tank top is appropriate. Today at Costco, which is typically a “get in, get out” trip for me, I slowly walked the isles with the patio furniture. And I seriously thought about dropping $2000+ on outdoor stuff. Of course I would never do it, but it is evidence that I am SO ready for Spring :).

Elephants and Stuff

March 14, 2011

Oh sweet, glorious, wonderful (and childless) weekend, you were kind to me.

We cleaned, A LOT. We ate in, worked around the house, watched movies, had friends over for dinner and games, took the dog for walks, went shopping, and went to the home show. I love these kind of weekends… ones that are productive but also have enough lazy down time that I am feeling somewhat refreshed.

My only complaint is that it wasn’t long enough. Oh yeah, and daylight savings is stupid.

This week is going to be a busy but short one. The kids are out of school on Friday, so we’re taking the family, along with my parents, to St. George for a little vacation. Woo hoo! Tomorrow I’ve got my first of three injections of an “artificial lubricant” into my left knee (it’s giving me trouble again), so that should be interesting.

Until we meet again, consider this tidbit: Elephants are the only animal that can’t jump.

WOW… and not in a good way.

March 12, 2011

I’ve never thought of Kentucky as a, well, I’ve never thought of Kentucky.

If you have, please read this. Actually, regardless of your Kentucky status, please read this:

It’s not long, so I suggest just reading the link, but in short, Senator D.B. Hardy, who has helped cut mental health services by almost 50% the last 2 years, told a health care center manager that all mental ill people are “defective” and should be sent to Siberia to freeze and starve to death. Oh yes, and he gave Hitler a big thumbs up. There’s more awesome stuff that the S.O.B. states.

Disgusting, barbaric, and on the verge of evil Senator Martin Harty has now won the top spot on my D.B. list. Seriously, this is a man who is representing American people! The excuse is that he is 90 years old and has “earned the right to say what he thinks”. I don’t give a damn if he’s 90… all it means to me is that he has had MORE than ample time in which to learn what being  a decent human being is about. I guess he’s used his years fermenting in his ignorance and hate. Maybe he was right when he said Hitler was on to something. I propose that all a-hole 90-year-old politicians could use a little Hitler-ing. At least he doesn’t deny saying, which makes me wonder if that might not be a clue that he’s not completely well. Siberia it is!


Date DAY!

March 11, 2011

Cooper was next in line for a date with me. It was supposed to happen in February, but due to time constraints (and piss poor planning), we had to push it into March. Because the kids didn’t have school today AND Greg was home, it seemed like a perfect time for Cooper and I to spend some quality time together.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t think the Nickelcade is great and all, but I’ve been there on my LAST 3 kid dates, and even though it was Cooper’s first pick, I gently tried to persuade him to choose something different. But ultimately I left it up to him. He told me he’d think about it and let me know after lunch :).

He had gotten a gift certificate for a free children’s meal (I love these) at Archibald’s Restaurant, which is located at Garner Village (the place I took Emma in October), so he decided that was the place he wanted to eat. After a yummy meal (and a huge dessert he polished off all on his own), we decided to walk around and look at the shops.

It was fun walking hand-in-hand with my sweet boy, who tells me multiple times every hour that he loves me :). We stopped at a little shop and Cooper was immediately drawn to a display of children’s watches. They were cute, and pretty inexpensive, so I asked if he wanted one. He said yes, but that he was worried about how much it cost. Seriously, this kid is so incredibly thoughtful, almost in a way that makes me sad. It’s like he felt like he didn’t deserve it, but I assured him he did, and was more than happy to buy it for him.

We strolled the shops for a few more minutes and then headed home. I can’t count the times he said that he told me thank you not only for lunch and the watch, but also for spending time with him. MY PLEASURE! I can honestly say that I have never met a more polite or sweet child in my entire life, and today’s wonderful afternoon was well spent!

It’s Gotta Go Wednesday

March 9, 2011

I had an entirely different thing planned for my post today. I had actually already WRITTEN a part of the post that I was going to use for today’s IGGW. So you know it’s gotta go if I’m forced to ditch my semi-prepared post to write a new one. Yeah, it’s that bad.

There are some people in this world that can be somewhat gullible. They are quick to buy into get rich schemes, often purchase everything they see that promises to make their life better, and pretty much believe whatever it is they hear. For simplicity sake, let’s call these people dumb. Then there are those some might call cynical. They are the ones who think if it probably sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Before they buy into anything, serious research must ensue. Let’s call these types of people smart. Or even “me”, because it’s shorter.

I know and love people who are both smart and dumb, and while I might not agree with the group who isn’t “me”, I don’t judge the dumb. It’s always good to have a handful of dumb’s in your corner so that they can be the little guinea pigs and then tell you first hand their experiences with the stuff they buy. WIN WIN!

What I DO not appreciate is when the dumb get a fire lit under them, and then try to me down into the pit of dumb by trying to force me into becoming something other than what I am and have always been… “ME”. Let’s get more specific.

Last night I got an urgent message to return a missed call. “It must be important”, I thought. “Or this person must need something”. Grrr. Imagine my absolute delight when I called back to learn that this person has found the greatest and most awesome thing ever. It’s something that will change my life, change their life, cure AIDS, and cause the people of the world to form a gigantic circle around the globe, holding hands and singing. Yes, another name for it is a pyramid scheme.

Legal, yes. The biggest bunch of crap, yes.

But this person is an adult AND dumb, so hey, enjoy that ride sunshine. The problem is that this person is strongly trying to shove this crap down my throat. Yes, it might be wrapped in a delicious pita and smothered in yogurt sauce, but it’s crap none-the-less. Ironically, one of Greg’s dumb friends tried equally hard to sell him on the exact same program a year or two ago. Greg listened to the spiel, did his research, and politely declined. That friend is no longer involved in the awesome “program”. ANYWAY…

I hate being pushed to do something that I do not want to do. I don’t particularly like (some) salesman for the simple fact that some are pushy and try to manipulate. But the world needs salesman, I guess, and even though I can be a total wimp, I can still walk away and forget about it 5 seconds later. But when family or friends become the salesman, and not just an innocent hard-working salesman, but the pushy, annoying salesman, well, that’s a whole different story.

About 12 years ago a childhood friend called me. I was thrilled! “Wow”, I thought, “she called to catch up with me and see how things are going”. Yeah, or not. She called to sell me on Amway shiz, and I was really bugged. Enough so that I haven’t talked to her or seen her since. Friends who try to use me as one of their stepping-stones up their pyramid have pretty much sealed their fate of never seeing me again.

Now when family does this crap, it gets even more complicated. You can’t quit your family, even if you want to. So when this person, who is kind of like family, called and then proceeded to aggressively push the crap filled pita down my throat, it made me not only uncomfortable but also angry. I hate being put in that kind of position. I said no, I meant no, and I shouldn’t have to explain myself any further or justify it in any way just because there is a DNA connection. I really enjoyed the, “I will laugh in your face. AND in Greg’s face” comment. I really hope this person does… I hope it works out for them. Still, I’ll pass (probably because I’m not a complete idiot). It’s one thing to pitch an idea or let people know what you’re doing. Pushing it is a whole other ball of wax… ear wax with little hairs in it.

If you care about the people who you are theoretically supposed to care about, trying to strong-arm your family or friends into some amazing “program” you just got into after going to a convention has GOT TO GO.