40+ Years and Still Going Strong

The rate of divorce in the United States is over 50% (it’s over 67% for 2nd marriages. OUCH!).

There are lots of theories as to why so many marriages, more than HALF, crumble. Life is quite a bit different from 50 years ago. Even 20 years ago. Money problems, stress of children, sexual dissatisfaction and infidelity are to name a few. My generation and the ones since have grown up believing that they deserve and can have everything they want. Life is incredibly fast paced compared to that of my parents.

I think that this new mind-set has a lot of amazing benefits and have opened doors that our grandparents never imagined for us, but this also comes with an attitude that threatens the sanctity of marriage. If you’re unhappy, change it. Think someone else is better for you? Go for it. Unsatisfied with your spouse? Divorce! That is a simplification of reality, but I think it fairly represents the current attitude.

As someone who has been through divorce, maybe I am no different. I am part of a statistic that is, unfortunately, the majority out there. I’m not saying that divorce is always a bad thing, or those who get divorced are simply throwing in the towel to find something better. There are so many different reasons and scenarios as to why people choose to end a marriage. Divorce is sometimes a blessing. Sometimes not. But the ever-growing rate of divorce is pretty alarming, at least to me, and I think more often than not, people are too quick to throw in the towel. When I was a kid, I had very few friends with divorced parents. Now, it seems to be the norm.

I am so proud to have parents that are still together. Their marriage has survived having very little money as newlyweds, 5 children, the death of 1 child, teenagers, and many things I’m sure I was not privy to while growing up. I’m grateful to have such amazing examples when it comes to compromise, selflessness, and sticking it out no matter what. Greg is also lucky to have parents that, through everything, stayed by each others side. I never got to meet Greg’s dad, Neil. He died a few months before we met, but I am impressed by his mom’s committment and unconditional love for her husband. And the stories about Greg’s dad and his love and loyalty to his family are wonderful to hear. My grandparents are no longer living, but they all stayed together until death, and life was not always easy for either couple. But if they could work through it, anyone can!

I’m grateful that Greg and I are both committed to never repeat the past, and are in it for the long haul. Cuz that 67% is just not acceptable! There seems to be this attitude of arrogance that “kids” (OK, 30 somethings) have. We know more than our parents, and are more savvy than the people who raised us. Since over 50% of us are screwing up somewhere along the lines, maybe they must have SOME idea of what they’re doing.

Marriage advice from a divorcee. HA! No, not really. I suppose my advice here is look to those who’ve had a successful marriage, shut up, listen and watch, and implement. If you’re married, do something extra nice for your spouse today. And tomorrow. And the day after that. You, your kids, and your partner will thank you for it.

 

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Explore posts in the same categories: Divorce, Family, Love is in the air, Motherhood, My parents are better than yours

2 Comments on “40+ Years and Still Going Strong”

  1. adventures Says:

    I too was determined to make it over 40 yrs married. But the Lord saw otherwise when he took my husband of 14 yrs in 2009. I pray you make it 70 or more yrs in your marriage! God Bless 🙂

  2. erica Says:

    Happy anniversary to your mom and dad! I have watched people I love go through divorce and it is heartbreaking, even if it is for the best. I think you ARE definitely one to give out marital advice – after all, experience is the best teacher. When you know better, you do better.


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