Archive for the ‘Bodily Functions’ category

Too Old For This

November 20, 2011

When I was a teenager, I remember staying up until 2 or 3 a.m. with no problem. OK, so I would sleep in until noon the next day, but that’s beside the point. These days, 10 p.m. rolls around and I am heavy-lidded and ready for bed. And it doesn’t seem to matter what time I go to bed, I’m always up between 7 and 8 a.m.

Last night Greg & I went to some friends house for dinner and games. By 9 p.m., I seriously could have gone to bed. MAYBE going to the new Twilight movie premier at 12:10 a.m. two nights before had something to do with my exhaustion. MAYBE the fact that 3 hours of sleep followed by a full 8 hour work day was a contributing factor. MAYBE the fact that I’m just not as young as I used to be is relevant. MAYBE having kids vomiting in the middle of the night earlier that week played a part. Needless to say, it’s been a rough week in the sleep department.

The movie was silly, but the pre-party and get-together with friends was definitely a fun time and almost made it worth it. But I must admit that I’m relieved that there is only 1 more movie to go, because these ridiculously late nights are going to kill me. I’ve only missed 1 premier, and that was because I had surgery on my shoulder that same day. I’m all for vampires, werewolves, completely implausible plot lines and bad hair, but come on… I’m too old for this crap!

We ended up sleeping at our friends house last night (they live about 25 min. away and both Greg and I were so tired that crashing at their place seemed like a better option than the drive home). Air mattresses are better than a hard floor, but not by much. I went straight back to bed when we walked in the door at 8 a.m. this morning, and woke up at 11. That additional 3 hours made all of the difference. I feel caught up on my zzzz’s, and I’m ready to begin another week.

I’m gearing up for our annual Thanksgiving trip to St. George… lots to do to get the kids, house, and myself ready, but a few days off from work, helping kids with homework, and early mornings is definitely something I’m looking forward to. What are YOUR plans for this next week?

My Aching Back!

November 14, 2011

How boring my life, and blog, would be if I didn’t have some physical ailment to complain about? What would I even talk about?

OK, to sum up, my back sucks. I’ve had back/neck issues for something like, oh, forever. It’s something I’ve gone to physical therapy for in the past, but just sort of accepted the fact that I’ve got a bad back. A year ago butt pain was added to the list of my back issues. OK, not exactly butt, but tailbone. It didn’t hurt to the touch, there was no injury to explain it, so everyone was confused as to the why it hurt and how to treat it.

The symptoms went something like this: I’d sit down on a chair, and if I sat for more than 20 minutes or so, my tailbone started to hurt, and at the point when I tried to stand up, it became insanely painful. A few months ago the pain started to radiate down my butt/hip through my thigh.

I sucked it up and mentioned it to my orthopedic surgeon, who referred me to a Physiatrist. After a million x-rays and an MRI, looks like I have something called spondylolisthesis (say it fast five times) as well as a couple of bulging disks, as well as general good ole’ sciatica. Awesome!

Treatment: A serious of steroid injections in my spine and physical therapy. The first day and night after my first injection (this past Wednesday) was HORRIBLE. Horrible in that there was absolutely no relief I could get… no position that felt better and there was no getting comfortable. It sucked. But by the next morning not only was this new pain gone, but my old back pain was almost unnoticeable. Yahoo!

Leave it to me that very day to fall down the stairs while carrying laundry. So now I have an entirely NEW injury. The good news is I think I’m just bruised, both my body and ego. Seriously, falling down the stairs? I never fall down!  Other than this spastic event, I’m excited by what it seems these injections have done, and the prospect of having a less painful existence is pretty exciting. What an awesome thing medicine and medical technology is!

I’m left to wonder what new trick my body will play on me next, but will appreciate the time I have of not having to sit on a doughnut while playing board games. Nobody looks cool sitting on a butt pad.


It’s Gotta Go Wednesday

October 12, 2011

I admit it… I am a teeth snob.

When I was dating, bad teeth were the kiss of death (and a guarantee there would be NO kiss of any kind). I could get over hair, looks, body, the way a guy dressed. But really bad teeth… not gonna happen. No, their chompers didn’t have to be perfect, but if your teeth look something like Steve Buscemi (who I love as an actor), we’ve got problems. Again, it’s not about being flawless… it was all about being kissable. Because if the teeth were really bad, who knows about the breath!

On the flip side, if I’m talking to a person, and it feels like I’m looking directly into the sun because of obsessive whitening, maybe it’s a sign that you’ve taken it too far.


Wanting to look better, or even your best, is great. This, my friends, just makes you look like a freak.

Taking your teeth to a level of white that has no name… it’s gotta go.

It’s Gotta Go Wednesday

August 24, 2011

I love taking the kids to the school playground after dinner on a warm summer night, and it’s always fun to walk a great mountain trail. What I DO not like is stepping in a big pile of dog crap. And I’m not sure what it is about my kids shoes and dog poo, but they are like magnets attracting each other… soul mates that are always in search of each other until they can unite. I, however, do NOT give my blessing to this relationship.

We’ve got a dog, and our dog happens to poop. When we take him on a walk, we typically tie a “poop bag” to his leash to clean up any gifts he decides to leave behind. It’s the socially responsible thing to do. I don’t particularly enjoy cleaning up my own dog’s poop, and I especially don’t want to clean up the crap of another dog. But worse than picking up dog poop is trying to get it out of the tread of my shoes.

It would be awesome if the Tooth Fairy had a second cousin named the Queen of Crap Karma. She would put a steaming mound of crap under the pillows of those who don’t clean up their dogs shiz. Maybe I’ve just discovered the answer to our unemployment problem.

Not cleaning up your dog’s poop… it’s gotta go.

It’s Gotta Go Wednesday

August 17, 2011

I’ve discussed sunburns, skin cancer, and sunscreen here a few times.

A couple of weeks ago I sent my oldest to his friends house. The mom did tell me they might play outside in their little pool, so being a responsible parent, I sent him with his swim shirt, sunscreen, and applied sunscreen before he left.

My son slept over at his friends house, so I didn’t see him until the next day.When I picked him up that morning, I was absolutely shocked at what I saw. Lobster red doesn’t begin to describe the condition of his back and shoulders. He had the worst burn on any of my kids that I’d ever seen. I was torn on what to do… Do I give him the idiot slap on the back of his head, or gently hug him and slather on the sympathy? I hugged him, but I made sure to let him know how dumb I thought he was for not reapplying the sunscreen but most importunately, NOT WEARING HIS SWIM SHIRT. My kids ALWAYS wear a swim shirt when they are in the water just so that what happened would NOT happen.

The mother of the other child called the next day to apologize  for the burned. While I do think that it was Ian’s responsibility to take care of himself, I was a little bothered that she didn’t make sure that they put on sunscreen and that she didn’t tell him to wear his shirt (what did I send it with him for if not to wear?!). Anyway, I think this was a very painful and uncomfortable object lesson for my son… one he will not soon forget. Here he is 1 1/2 weeks after the burn:

Yes, those are scabs. And every night for two weeks we got to hear about how it hurt, how it itched, and there were nights that he literally cried himself to sleep.

Kids not heeding the words of their parents because they are soooo darn smart, and parents not being proactive to protect others kids from themselves… it’s gotta go!

It’s Gotta Go Wednesday

August 10, 2011

I appreciate a reminder call when a doctor or dentist appointment is scheduled, because even I can forget stuff.

However, shouldn’t the normal phone “rules” apply even when coming from a medical provider? While I like a reminder, I don’t particularly enjoy getting that call at 7 a.m.! A certain secretary seems to find it necessary to make all of her calls before 7:30, and if it happens to be during the summer, I might still be asleep, thank you very much.This morning I was half asleep when she called, and if I didn’t already know about the appointment, I would have no memory of what transpired.

Calling before 9 a.m. REGARDLESS of the reason (unless someone is dead or I’ve won a million dollars)… it’s gotta go.

No Longer A Spring Flower

July 18, 2011

Not like it is any big surprise or anything, but I don’t need the reminders that I’m getting old.

(HA! Even more proof… I had to save this draft and go look at my last page because I couldn’t remember what I wrote. AWESOME).

The downhill spiral started after our late Thursday night (damn that Harry Potter). Both Greg and I were exhausted, and the prospect of not only a gallery showing but also a get together with friends seemed less like fun and more like work. But I refuse to lie in order to get out of something (I have this weird thing about honesty), and it felt like something we just needed to follow through with. My cousin’s photos were amazing and I’m hoping the rest of the night was as successful as it seemed while we were there. The dinner/ping pong/sunset watching/laughing/story telling with friends ended up being a great evening, and luckily I got a second wind sometime around 9 pm. That wind blew until 2:30 pm. Yeah.

Two nights in a row of getting 3-4 hours… it reminds me of when I was 18.Except my body didn’t made scary noises when I got out of bed in the morning.

Saturday was the b-day bash of my sister from another mother (which you would totally guess if you saw us side-by-side), Maree. It may not be written, but it still is fact: I never walk out of that house without having eaten amazing food. Even better than the food was the company. I don’t know what it is about these women, but I turn into a dorky teenager. These get togethers definitely fill my laughter quota until I meet with them again. If anyone deserves a year full of fun, laughter, blessings, a lil’ sumthin’ sumthin’ on the side, and all good things that can be, it is Maree. She is such a fun, generous, thoughtful, beautiful, amazing person, and I love her! She has been through some SERIOUS crap as of late, and I’m just putting it out there to the Universe… Give her a break!

This birthday celebration was so fun that I didn’t get home until after 1 am.

Another fun, and SUPER exciting news from Saturday night is that Sarah and Dave, two of our close friends, gave birth to their first baby. A BOY! Greg and I were able to go up and see the new family Sunday afternoon, and I was so impressed with how well Sarah was doing and how well she looked. Baby Ryan was absolutely adorable. I know that everyone is supposed to say that, but believe me, I’ve seen some pretty scary babies. This sweet boy is so perfect and wonderful, I could have held him forever! I’m excited for some serious baby holding in the near future and getting to know this cute little guy better. Congrats D and S… we love you!

Babies, birthdays, friends and fatigue. It was a great weekend, but I am definitely feeling it. What happened to the days when I could stay out late and not be worse for wear. Hopefully this week and some earlier bed times will be the my mini fountain of youth. Or not.


It’s Gotta Go Wednesday

June 29, 2011

This weeks installment is so incredibly simple yet such a strong statement that it can all be said in a few lines:

Skinny Jeans DO NOT belong on men. NO MAN, no matter how attractive, looks good in skinny jeans. It’s gotta go.

Now THAT’S A Workout

June 23, 2011

I’m not really sure what part of the body this is supposed to tone, but I hear it’s all the rage.

I’ve Almost Recovered

June 21, 2011

Family reunions are fun, but boy, did the last week and a half wipe me out. I’m sure part of it was due to the fact that I was sick for part of the time. Despite illness and whatever else that was undesirable that happened, it was a really fun +week.

After the Alpine Slide a week ago Friday, we got together for a Boondocks day, Lagoon last Thursday, A Minute To Win It family game night (which was really fun and our family won. Woo Hoo!), a movie, and a ton of meals together.

It was great to see my sister who lives out of State, and all of her kids. It’s even more fun to watch the cousins play together and enjoy each other. I wish we all lived closer together, but then again, maybe the distance between us all helps the kids to enjoy their limited time together that much more.

Even though I feel like it might take me a week to recover, I’m very grateful to have a family that thinks it’s important to make the time to get together this time each year. I know we are making wonderful memories for all of our kids, as well as strengthening cousin relationships.

On a totally different subject, I went to see a dermatologist this morning for a stupid weird itchy patch of skin on my elbow. While I was talking to her I mentioned that I did have a small little sore like thing on my head (covered by my hair). Diagnosis: actinic keratosis. A precancerous spot. YIPPY! She removed it and froze the area (no, I don’t have a bald spot 🙂 ), and wants to see me in a few months. I just thought this was ironic after my last weeks post about skin cancer and sunscreen. Keep applying that sunscreen kids, AND, don’t forget your scalp!