Archive for May 2009

L to the P – Part II

May 29, 2009

You’ve been waiting on the edge of your chair, I know. But it has all been worth it! Part II is the most exciting part… think Indian Jones on a valium at a family reunion.

Like I said, it rained a lot during our Lake Powell weekend. ABOMINATION!, you might be saying. While it was a soggy trip, I don’t know that I would have traded it for sun. I was able to see and experience things that wouldn’t have been possible had been been dry.


On Friday, Mr. N and I decided to do a little exploring. We left the houseboat and within 10 minutes, discovered a waterfall pouring into a lake canyon. We hiked up beyond the canyon and discovered an amazing set of pools and waterfalls flowing and full from the storm. I can honestly say that is was like nothing I had ever seen before, at least in person. There were a number of natural waterfall/stream thingies (that’s the technical term) that I would have loved to have transported into my own backyard.




As we continued to follow the water upstream, we discovered a small narrow canyon. It was a point in which we would have to go back, or get wet to continue. For the next hour we proceeded forward by swimming through the pools and climbing up waterfalls.



Amazing! I am so glad that we decided to go on this little adventure, and I couldn’t have had a better exploration partner :). And the view was just as beautiful on the hike back. There is a reason Lake Powell is one of my most favorite places on earth.






So now you’re thinking that it couldn’t get better, right? Well, it did. And you can read about it in part III.

L to the P – Part I

May 26, 2009

This past week was a very full, awe inspiring, and interesting one. SO incredibly full that I think I’m going to cover it mini-series style. Yeah, it’s that exciting. Welcome to Part I.

Getting ready for a trip… especially one to Lake Powell… is a project in and of itself. There’s a lot of preparation and a ton of crap that needs to be packed, even for only 2 people. And this year Mr. N and I had some other fish to fry around the same time as our departure. You know the type of thing that loom over you for months and even though you feel OK about it, you’re really not sure how things will turn out? So all the while there is this shadow that sort of casts itself around you all of the time? Sure, you can have fun, relax, and enjoy life, but in the back of your mind you are conscious that there is something out there that has to be settled? After months of waiting, on Wednesday the “thing” was resolved and worked out pretty well. Other than some ridiculous drama of a completely different source and nature (that still causes me to squint and shake my head in confusion from time to time), we were able to head south happy and carefree.

We arrived at the lake Thursday afternoon, and although it was a little overcast, we did get some nice sun and the temperature was wonderful. After settling in at the houseboat, we hopped back out on the ski boat for some tubing, rodeo style. It was a blast! And we have the bruises to prove it.

After dinner, games and a movie, we all went to bed. Have I mentioned that I love sleeping outside under the stars? I do. But not when it’s raining sideways. Mr. N and I were the first to abandon sleeping up on the top of the houseboat and headed inside. Even though it was covered, it did little to keep out the rain. Everyone followed suit at some point during the night. Quite the adventure :).

It rained quite a bit over the next 2 days… a pesky habit of Lake Powell over the Memorial Day weekend. But, as you’ll see in Part II, I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

To be continued…

Hello Week

May 18, 2009

This coming week should be an interesting (and slightly crazy) one, and I for one can’t wait to see how it all turns out… assuming I survive it.

The twins don’t have school this entire week (something about Kindergarten assessment testing stuff. I think the teachers are just starting to their own happy hour at noon… does it really take 6 school days to test?!?), so I’ll have them at home all day every day, which isn’t a bad thing. They are pretty good kids and will be able to entertain the youngest. I’m (brace yourself, this might be shocking) kind of missing them. I feel like I haven’t been able to spend much time with them the last few weeks, and I’m headed out of town the middle of the week without them, so it’ll be nice to be able to hang with my little ones.

Also scheduled this week: baseball games, other appointments and such, tons of work around the house and yard, and the biggie: Greg and I are headed south to enjoy sunny (hopefully) Lake Powell. It’s a lot of work to get ready for this trip, especially since I am in charge of feeding everyone (20 or so people) 3 meals this weekend, but it’s so totally worth it. I’ve spend my Memorial Day, which happens to fall on another holiday in my family, in Lake Powell for quite a few years, and it’s a tradition that I hope to continue. Who knows, maybe one of these years I’ll get brave and actually take my kids :). I am also looking forward to spending some much needed alone time with the Mr.


I hope to have some good stories and maybe even great pictures to share next week. Until then, have a wonderful week and a fantastic Memorial Day!

The Burning In My Ears

May 15, 2009

The other morning, while waiting in the car to pick up the kids from kindergarten, a song came on the radio. This certain song made me think back to all of the songs that have most made me want to purge my lunch and laugh (or cry) because the lyrics are so ridiculously douchish, it’s almost beyond human comprehension.

The first song that made me feel that way was BUTTERFLY by Crazy Town. Here is a sample of the lyrics so you can get an idea of how awesomely moronic they are:

I can feel too much is never enough
You’re always there to lift me up
When these times get rough I was lost Now I’m found
Ever since you’ve been around
You’re the women that I want
So yo, I’m putting it down.

Come my lady
Come come my lady
you’re my butterfly

I’m sure that brought a tear to your eye.

The next song that violently kicked BUTTERFLY‘s arse out of first place for stupidest song is one that I wholeheartedly felt could never be outdone. That song would be MY HUMPS by Black Eyed Peas. Wow, it’s mind blowing:

What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps (Check it out)

Let’s not forget these jems:

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
In the back and in the front (lumps)
My lovin’ got you

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump. Nicely said Fergie. Pretty intense, huh? Hard to beat? YES!

But all things must come to an end (notice I left out “GOOD”). And while I didn’t know the classy artists who bumped MY HUMPS out of first place, I was damn determined to find out. As fate would have it, it was the good ole’ Black Eyed Peas that have done the near impossible and outdone themselves by creating an even more asinine lyrical train wreck.

Without further ado, may I present this ill-conceived jewel.


Click on the link above to see the video. Here are few lyrical exerts:

Gotta get-get, gotta get-get
Gotta get-get, gotta g-g-g-get-get-get, get-get

Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get

Boom boom boom, now
Boom boom boom, now
Boom boom pow
Boom boom


I’m so 3008
You so 2000 and late
I got that boom, boom, boom
That future boom, boom, boom
Let me get it now

My final thoughts… Sometimes it takes more than just a few words that rhyme to make a half-intelligently written song. All I can do is wait with bated breath for the Black Eyed Peas to bestow upon me their next masterpiece of crap.

How Does Your Garden Grow

May 14, 2009

I’ve always loved digging in the dirt and doing yard work. When I was younger (11 or 12?), I started doing the majority of grounds keeping at my house. My parents were not huge fans of yard work, so I mowed the lawn, weeded the beds and planted flowers for my mom. It was a win-win situation… I got to do something I enjoyed AND got paid for, and my parents were saved from the dreaded chore.

My love of getting dirty continued into my adulthood, and I’ve had pretty good luck with the annuals, perennials, and trees that I’ve planted. That being said, I’ve never had a garden. I’ve always wanted one, but for one reason or another, it’s something that didn’t happen.

With my recent nuptials and subsequent moving, I’ve inherited a nice, even fenced, little patch of dirt in which to make my dreams a reality. My hubby planted a garden the previous year, but I sort of adopted the thing and was able to put my own little touch on it… meaning that I pulled out the old crap, weeded, prepped the soil (with a little help), and planted the veggies and herbs this year.

A couple of the old herbs came back, so I just added a few that I thought I’d actually use. Cilantro, parsley, additional shallots, and some sweet and lemon basil are the new additions to the herb portion of the garden.

In the vegetable garden, we started from scratch and planted about 7 varieties of tomatoes, 9 varieties of peppers (ugh… that’s all for Mr. N), a few cucumber plants and some strawberries.

I’m excited to see how it all turns out and what, if any, the “fruits” of my labor will yield this summer. It’s pretty exciting stuff! I think I’ll take a few pictures every couple of weeks just to keep track of how everything is growing (or not growing). Wish me luck!

gardenThe garden, in all of it’s glory

tomato One variety of tomatoes

herbsThe herb garden


parsley Cilantro                                                                                Parsley

I Got The Best One.

May 10, 2009


It’s really not even debatable, and I don’t say it to make you jealous. Sure, your mom is probably pretty good and all, but my mom is better. In fact, she’s the best.

Yeah, I’m pretty OK when it comes to mommy-hood, but I can’t even hold a candle to her. The only bad thing about this is that for years, maybe until I hit college, I thought that ALL moms (and parents) were like her. Patient, unconditionally loving, generous, smart, gracious, empathetic, ethical, moral, and in general the best thing since sliced bread. I now know this isn’t always, or even often, the case. It still makes me sad for all the kids out there whose moms evidently missed the “How to be an awesome mom” seminar.

But I feel so incredibly blessed to have been raised by a woman that possesses so many wonderful qualities.

Although I’m not what I would call attached at the umbilical cord (I can go a few days… even a week without talking to her, or even make a decision without consulting her. I’m a big girl now!), I still depend on her because in so many ways. She still takes care of me and I still need her.

I may not say it enough, but I love you Mom. And I can say it with all honesty and pride when I say that you really are the best mom. Happy Mother’s Day.

This has gone around before, but it still makes me laugh. Here is a Q & A with some elementary aged kids about their moms:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in
the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use
string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?
1. We’re related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your Mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty
3 They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk
on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to

Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

Who’s the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goof
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What’s the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power ’cause
that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.
Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don’t do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of
plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid
of that.
2. I’d make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who
did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back.

Close To Home

May 7, 2009

In a weird kind of way (minus the actual nursing and the daily tongue baths), I think I have an idea of what this is like.

A Shotgun Or .45 Will Do Just Fine

May 5, 2009

If I ever become so completely technologically retarded elderly that I have to resort to using one of these or am ever seduced enough by this type of commercial that I actually purchase one of these, please just do me a favor. Take me out back and shoot me.


May 4, 2009

It’s been awhile since I’ve done an updated “the search engine terms that bring people to my site” post. It’s quite is overdo, don’t you think? Here are my top five:

  1. “enlarged nipples for transvestites” – I’m sure we ALL have an abundance of questions on this subject. I just can’t quite figure out HOW this can be connected to anything I’ve written. Hmmm.
  2. scratch ass feel good” – Heck yeah it does! It’s even better when you’re doing it in Texas.
  3. “men in spandex at 2009 olympics” – The subject of my every fantasy.
  4. “smell my shit” – Thanks for the offer… I think I’ll pass.
  5. hot hippie” – Ha. Oxymoron!

After reading through my search terms list and based on some of the things that are bringing people to my site, I’m beginning to wonder if I’m sending the right message out into Blogland. Could it be me?

Naw… just a lot of “interesting” folks out there.